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holiday tips for children of divorce

5 Ways To Help Your Kids Enjoy the Holidays During Divorce

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Divorce is hard on everyone, especially kids during the holidays. In most custody arrangements, parents take turns spending the holidays with the kids, and being shuttled between Mom’s and Dad’s can be awkward. As a parent, you can help make the transition easier for your kids by embracing the present and looking toward the future. Here are five ways to turn the first holiday season after into a bright new beginning.

Focus on time with your kids rather than time apart

If you focus on the divorce, so will your kids. Instead, spend time bonding with your kids and reassuring them that it’s not the end of the world. Cross off trivial obligations from your holiday list and maximize family time. Don’t limit this bonding to just one or two days; doing simple things like setting up the holiday lights, shopping for a tree, or playing in the snow can help you and the kids focus on what really matters.

Talk to your kids

Keep the dialogue open during the holidays. Let your kids know how the holidays will be structured this year. Assure them that while some things will change, others will remain the same. Don’t dodge or glaze over the conversation.

Encourage the kids to share what they want most from the holidays and what they might be nervous about. Younger kids are a lot more intuitive than many parents might notice, and some may hide their feelings to protect yours. Sharing some of your feelings can help you understand one another and better accept the situation. Keep a positive tone and assure them that things will work out.

Avoid saying anything negative about the other parent. Don’t try to make yourself seem like the better parent or try to get your kids “on your side.” Encourage them to enjoy their time with Mom or Dad, and remind them that both parents love them just as always.

Smiling little boy with Christmas decoration, isolated on white

Stick to your holiday traditions as best as possible

Routines and traditions are very important to kids. While it can be difficult to keep holiday rituals intact during a divorce, talk to your ex and discuss how you can make it happen. Keep in mind that you don’t have to recreate the past down to every last detail. In fact, sometimes clinging to what used to be can make the transition even harder. Ask your kids which activities they’re most excited about and focus on those. Welcome any new ideas they might have, which brings us to our next tip.

Make new holiday traditions

If your custody arrangement is to alternate holidays, start a new tradition - a gingerbread house competition, seeing the holiday lights together, baking a holiday cake, etc. If your kids will be spending the day with the other parent, schedule your own celebration with the kids a day sooner or a week later, depending on your child visitation schedule If you have friends or relatives with kids around the same age, invite them over. Why not volunteer at a local soup kitchen or shelter? It can give your kids perspective and help them appreciate what they have. Above all, listen to your kids. It may be that all they want, is to spend time with you.

Take care of yourself

What affects one family member affects the others. That’s why it’s important to stay healthy and manage your stress and emotions. Luckily, you and your kids can help one another stay positive. Take up new hobbies you can share with the kids. Eat healthy, balanced meals and always make time for exercise. Play with the dog in the backyard, play hide and seek, or head to the park for some family tennis or basketball. Watch movies together, play board games, or read books together; anything that nourishes the mind or body.

If you work long shifts, take night classes, or have other obligations that limit your time, find ways to sneak in small bouts of exercise here and there. Take a 20 minute jog before sunrise. Do some bodyweight exercises while you watch the morning news. Climb the stairs in your office building. Stretch before you go to bed at night. Be sure to visit your doctor for regular checkups and ask about how you can take better care of yourself.

Contact a Salt Lake City Divorce Attorney

Remember, the holidays are about giving time and attention, not stuff. Our law firm understands that transitions can be difficult - especially the first time around. If you need help putting together a thoughtful parenting plan, contact Jennings and Medura, LLC, located in Salt Lake City, Utah. We have over 30 years’ experience placing kids’ needs first in cases involving divorce, alimony, child support, parent time, and financial issues. Feel free to email us for a free consultation, and remember to stay safe this holiday season.

 

teresa bankruptcy and divorce

Joe and Teresa Guidice: The Real Deal on Bankruptcy Fraud and Divorce

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Whoever said that all publicity is good publicity probably hasn’t spoken to Joe and Teresa Guidice recently. The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were charged in a 41 count indictment with a conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, bank fraud, and making false statements on loan applications and bankruptcy fraud. Had they been found guilty of all charges, each could have received sentences of 50 years in prison. Although they might be used to video cameras taping their every move, it was probably different having those cameras follow them from court with dozens of reporters yelling at them to make a comment.

Joe and Teresa Guidice Fraud Charges

Ultimately the Guidice’s pleaded guilty to fraud charges and both will face time in prison. Joe, who is still an Italian citizen, could face deportation when his sentence has been completed, and Judge Esther Salas, the federal judge in charge of the case suggested that deportation was indeed in Joe’s future once he is released from prison. When faced with the charges of this case, Joe admitted that he avoided paying income taxes on $1 million of income between 2004 and 2008. For Teresa’s part, when she faced the music, Teresa agreed to pay $200,000 in penalties to government with more penalties expected to follow later which will possibly double the penalties.

Failure to Disclose During Bankruptcy Is Fraud

In addition to not filing taxes, Joe and Teresa each pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and they pleaded guilty to three types of bankruptcy fraud. In 2009, the Guidice’s filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and were charged for failing to disclose accurate information about their businesses, Teresa’s salary for the reality television program, and rental properties the couple owned. Additionally, the couple failed to report a 2006 Ford F-250 pickup truck, a cement mixer, a bobcat trailer, a 1993 Ford Ranger, and 1997 corvette.

hidden money in bookHad the lies about income been discovered during the bankruptcy hearing, the case could have been dismissed immediately. If the case had been dismissed at that time, the financial situation of the Guidice’s would have returned to where it was prior to bankruptcy proceedings. That means creditors would have still been hounding the family and assets would have been in danger of being taken and the family could have lost everything they had if bankruptcy had been off the table for them. Although the 15 month sentence Teresa received and the 41 month sentence Joe received probably feel harsh to them, they may feel different had they lost everything they had, which may have happened had they been caught lying during the original bankruptcy hearing.

There are actually several legal reasons a Chapter 7 bankruptcy case can be dismissed in addition to fraudulent activities: failure to complete credit counseling (if court mandated), lying on the official forms (Teresa did this), hiding property so it can’t be sold or liquidated (Teresa did this too), failure to file the correct forms or pay the filing fee, failure to appear at the meeting with creditors. In some situations, the case can be dismissed, and the people seeking bankruptcy relief can refile immediately or relatively soon, but fraud is not one of those situations.

Fines and Prison Time for Bankruptcy Fraud

Bankruptcy fraud, lying on forms and or hiding property so it doesn’t have to be forfeited to pay creditors constitutes bankruptcy fraud which Teresa is guilty of. Bankruptcy fraud is federal crime that can cause the guilty party to pay fines and do prison time. Theresa has been hit with a $10,000 fine and has thus far has been ordered to pay $200,000 in restitution with another restitution order possibly coming later. Judge Salas, who had this case said that Teresa failed to list at $75,000 in assets during her 2009 bankruptcy. The judge also seemed to question the lifestyle depicted on television. Teresa’s attorney stated that the furniture and wardrobe depicted on the television show were purchased by RHONJ and that what is seen on television is basically an orchestrated fiction.

Judge Esther Salas Sentenced The Guidice’s

The judge responsible for the Guidice’s case is Esther Salas, a woman who was not raised in the Real Housewives standard of living. Judge Esther Salas is the federal district judge for the United States District Court for the District of New Jersey and sits in Newark, New Jersey. Salas was confirmed as a federal district judge in June, 2011 by the United States Senate, making her a member of the Court for life. Prior to the federal judgeship, Salas had been a magistrate judge since 2006.

Judge Esther Salas sentenced guidice
Photo credit PROUDMAN, JOE/SL

Salas, whose parents are Mexican and Cuban immigrants, was raised in New Jersey after her mother fled her abusive husband in California. When fire destroyed the family’s possessions when the judge was 11, she represented her mother at meetings with government officials to receive assistance and shelter for her mother and four siblings. This background, in contrast to the lifestyle seen on RHONJ has stuck with Salas and undoubtedly colors the lens she sees life with. She said to Teresa Guidice, “What you did in the financial disclosure really sticks in my craw. It’s what the court has a problem with. It shows blatant disrespect for the court. It’s as if you thumb your nose at this court. I honestly don’t believe you understand and respect the law.” She concluded, “Getting this financial information that I need to judge this case was like pulling teeth, it was the most difficult in my years as a judge and as a lawyer.”

This lecture to the defendant came as Teresa Guidice received a 15 month sentence rather than the maximum 21 month sentence. Her attorney had asked for probation with no prison time, but the judge believed that Teresa needed to learn a lesson about lying to the court and the consequences of spending beyond her means. Judge Salas said that she had considered probation until she read the government report about how difficult it was to receive an accurate financial report, and suggesting that during the process there may have been attempts to confuse the court with the documentation the defense team and the Guidice’s returned to the prosecution and the court. In any case, the process of understanding what assets the Guidice family has was far from straightforward and the judge was not pleased.

The judge also hoped that by passing down a sentence that included jail time for both Teresa and Joe, that the four children of the Guidice’s would be able to learn from the punishment their parents received. In an act showing compassion for the family, Joe will begin to serve his sentence of 41 months after his wife is released so that one parent will remain with the children, all girls ranging in age from five to 13 years.

Divorce: Now? Later? Never?

possible divorce teresa guidice

There have been rumors speculating that Teresa is furious with Joe after being handed down their prison sentences, and is considering a divorce. Even if the divorce is all speculation now, there is a good chance that the rumors could turn into a reality. Reports show that the divorce rate among couples where one spouse is incarcerated for one or more year(s) is about 80%, and for women is almost 100%. Many of the spouses, and secondary victims of the committed crimes (like the Guidice’s 4 daughters) often feel outcast, shame loneliness, and financial hardship. Teresa, who will serve her 15 month prison sentence first, is uncertain if Joe can handle raising their children by himself while she is locked up. Additionally, finances, and the fact it will be difficult to improve their finances while in prison have also been causing the couple stress, especially since a certain amount of the success that Teresa has had financially, selling books an hair care products is based on her public persona. That persona took a hit, and there certainly won’t be a public portion of it during the 15 months she’s in prison.

Although it seems that the divorce rumors about the Guidice family are false, it will be possible for a divorce to occur while one or the other of them is incarcerated. The Utah Divorce process to dissolve your marriage with someone in prison is almost exactly like it is under normal circumstances.

Whether Joe and Teresa have learned anything from this episode of real life, only time will tell. What those who have followed the case have learned is that when tax time comes, pay the taxes. If it is necessary to file for bankruptcy, don’t play fast and loose when listing assets. As stressful as taxes and bankruptcy can be, most would agree, they are not as stressful as doing time in prison.

 

Jennings & Medura, LLC offers full service family law and bankruptcy representation to the residents of Salt Lake City, UT. We are dedicated to providing efficient and quality legal services to help individuals protect their rights when facing issues of family law or bankruptcy matters.

Utah same sex marriage lawyer

Utah Taking Same Sex Marriage to the Supreme Court

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The topic of gay marriage has long been a divisive issue within the United States. Marriage was previously defined as a civil union between a man and a woman and, as a result, gay marriage was essentially outlawed in all 50 states for much of the country’s existence. Those who oppose the issue do so predominantly from a religious standpoint, citing Bible verses indicating that such a union should not be granted. Even as countries like Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Mexico and the United Kingdom gradually began recognizing same sex relationships and marriages in general, the United States still found itself far behind in the court of public opinion for many decades.

Gay Marriage California

In the last several years that topic has heated up significantly, with gay marriage becoming legal in a wide variety of different areas. California is perhaps the most notable situation in recent memory, where Proposition 8 was a state constitutional amendment that was created by those who opposed gay marriage. Proposition 8 was passed in November of 2008, it was eventually ruled unconstitutional by a federal court in 2010. Since that time, many other states have followed suit. They include but are not limited to Connecticut, Delaware, Washington, DC, Hawaii, Maryland and more.

Utah Same Sex Marriage

Utah is one of the remaining states where same sex marriage is not legal, though the story has a decidedly unique twist. Same sex marriage actually became legal in Utah for a brief period of time, starting on December 20, 2013 and ending almost immediately thereafter in January. The fact that gay marriage became legal at all during that time was something of a technicality – it was the direct result of a specific ruling attributed to the United States District Court for the District of Utah. The ruling itself was stayed until January 6 by the United States Supreme Court, which is where the small window of opportunity for same sex couples to join hands in marriage originally came from.

Prop 8 Protest

More specifically, three same sex couples filed a lawsuit in the District Court in March of 2013 with a desire to ultimately declare Utah’s ban on similar marriages unconstitutional. One of these couples had already been married in Iowa, but Utah refused to recognize that union. Judge Robert J. Shelby of the District Court agreed that the same sex marriage ban was unconstitutional, thus allowing these marriages to be legally performed almost immediately. The State Attorney General’s Office would quickly appeal that ruling, thus ending the ability for these marriages to be performed as soon as a few weeks later in January.

Utah Attorney General

One of the most interesting things about the case actually comes down to its location. Despite the high presence of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City was actually recently revealed as the “gayest” city in America in research conducted by Advocate.com. The Latter-day Saints have long maintained a view that homosexuality in general was against their religion. Despite this, those residents of the area who are not a part of the Mormon Church have long embraced their LGBT brothers and sisters within the community. Using a list of very specific criteria, Adovocate.com deducted that Salt Lake City has more gay, lesbian and bisexual residents per capita than any other city in the United States. Indeed, Salt Lake City and Utah in general is regularly at the top of “gay friendly” lists conducted about various places to live within the country.

 

In the first six days following the aforementioned ruling alone, county clerks in Utah issued more than 900 marriage licenses to same sex couples. Jim Debakis, chairman of Utah’s own Democratic Party, and himself a self-identified gay man, was among the first people to be married during this time. Those counties that did not immediately begin issuing marriage licenses to these couples would soon follow suit in the next few days.

 

Even though the window of opportunity for same sex couples to get married in Utah would quickly close, the news wasn’t necessarily as bad as it could have been. While it is true that Utah determined that it would not recognize all marriages performed during that time, that wasn’t necessarily the case everywhere. On January 9, for example, the Attorney General in Utah allowed county clerks to complete the processing of all marriage licenses that were in process prior to January 6. Even though the state announced that it would continue to ban same sex marriages, Eric Holder (the Attorney General of the United States) announced that on a federal level, the country would recognize all same sex marriages that had been performed in the state of Utah prior to the ban going back into effect. In that short amount of time, 1,360 marriages had been performed.

Current State of Same Sex Marriage in Utah

The Supreme Court of the United States indicated it will hear Kitchen v. Herbert, which was the case that initiated the legality of same sex marriage in Utah in the first place. It’s important to note, however, that a ruling by the Supreme Court in this matter is not a foregone conclusion. Kitchen v. Herbert is just one of five similar cases that the Supreme Court will examine before its sessions officially begin in the closing weeks of October 2014. During a private conference that will be held before that time it will decide which of the cases, if any, it is going to hear. There is still a distinct possibility that the Supreme Court will choose not to hear Kitchen v. Herbert at all. If the Supreme Court does decide to hear the case, however, it would represent a landmark decision that would have ramifications for every other state moving forward.

 

Along with the topic of same sex marriage, an equally complicated topic is same sex divorces. Divorces in general are always difficult and stressful situations for everyone involved that are made infinitely more complicated thanks to laws unique to specific states about whether these types of marriages are legally recognized in the first place.

Same Sex Marriage and Divorce

A same sex divorce would fall into one of two different categories: contested or uncontested. A contested divorce would be one where the two parties are unable to come to an agreement for whatever reason, including if one of the two individuals doesn’t want to get divorced in the first place. An uncontested divorce in a same sex marriage situation would be one where both parties agree to an amicable separation and agree to have all assets fairly distributed, among other factors.

 

Thanks to the fact that same sex couples still cannot legally marry in the state of Utah and in certain other states, child custody issues may arise in the event of a separation. This would also be true in the event that one of the couples who has a federally recognized same sex marriage divorced in the foreseeable future. One of the issues that may arise has to do with child custody, which would create what is known as a contested divorce. If a surrogate was used during the birth of the child, one of the parents would not be genetically related to the child or children in question.

 

In these types of situations, the court would proceed much the same way that it does in traditional uncontested divorces, albeit while keeping well within the confines of the state’s take on the topic of gay marriage. The court will consider a large number of different factors including the best interests of the child when determining who gets sole custody or any partial custody agreements that may take place.

Salt Lake City Family Law Attorney

Another point of difficulty in ending a same sex relationship would be a situation where a couple married in a state where gay marriage was legally recognized moved to a state that was still upholding a ban. If a person moves to a state where same sex marriage is not legally, they may not be able to get a divorce in that state due to the fact that their marriage was never legally recognized in the first place. They would either have to return to the state where the union was originally approved or work within the confines of the state in question for the most viable solution. In all of these situations, enlisting the help of a family law firm would certainly help expedite the process for the benefit of everyone involved. For help with your family law case in Utah, take advantage of a free case review from Jennings and Medura Law Firm today.

 

child support utah

What Child Support Covers and What it Does NOT in the State of Utah

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In the state of Utah, when a married couple with children decides to divorce, if the children are under the age of 18, a judge will set up a child support schedule. For parents who can decide on a child support arrangement themselves, then a judge will not interfere.

The Utah Child Support guidelines are always used to determine how much child support the children will receive, except in cases where parents have already made arrangements, or in cases where the guidelines don’t particularly apply.

It’s important to note that both parents can be ordered to pay child support. The primary expenses used to calculate child support are those related to:

  • Medical
  • Dental
  • Health insurance

In some cases, parents are ordered to share childcare expenses. Additionally,
‘extraordinary medical expenses’ must also be shared or paid by the parents; however, these expenses must be stated in the divorce agreement. Having an attorney on your side can ensure all of your bases are covered.

A Child Support Worksheet is used to calculate how much each parent will have to pay, and you can view that here. In many cases, the non-custodial parent is the only one ordered to pay child support, with the exact amount being determined according to both parents’ income as well as any retirement contributions.

Children With Disabilities

For children who have disabilities which hinder them from working or being able to take care of themselves, child support may be required even after the child turns 18. This doesn’t apply if the child chooses to get married. In fact, any child that chooses to get married either before or after the age of 18 will disqualify him or herself from receiving child support.

What Can Child Support be Used For?

It’s imperative to understand what child support is to be used for. As stated before, in the state of Utah, any support that is supposed to be applied toward cover medical, health insurance and dental expenses will be outlined in a child support agreement. Any funds left over can then be applied as the custodial parent chooses, such as paying for the children’s clothes, gas expenses to get them back and forth to school and so on.

It is important to note that parents share the cost of taking care of the children. For example, if Dad gets the children on the weekends, his support that he pays goes toward paying for a portion of the food that the kids eat while they are with their mom during the week, but on the weekends, Dad still has to cover the full cost of food. The same applies to Mom. Parents must pool their money together according to the Income Shares Model, and then child support is fairly determined.

What Child Support Does Not Cover

Some parents who pay child support get very confused as to what the funds do and do not cover. To put it simply, the parent receiving the support can spend the funds in any way that he or she sees fit. As long as the funds are being applied toward some type of living expense -school photos, transportation, academic tutoring- then a judge will have no problem with the money being spent on those things.

Parents paying child support sometimes get angry because they see that even though all of their children’s needs are getting met, the leftover child support is being spent by the recipient parent on a new car, clothes for him or herself, etc. Unfortunately, the leftover funds can be spent however the parent chooses as long as the child’s needs are met, including medical, health and dental care expenses.

The only way that a parent paying child support could receive sympathy from a judge and possibly have a court-ordered child support agreement changed is by proving that the parent receiving the support is not taking care of the child. For example, if the child doesn’t have decent clothes to wear back and forth to school but the parent receiving the support manages to supply a drug habit, then this would definitely be a reason to take the child support and custody case back in front of a judge.

Other than that, there is nothing that child support does not cover.

Is There a Way to Get Certain Expenses Included in Child Support?

Yes, there is. If your child has certain activities that he or she regularly takes part in and has for an extended period of time -summer camp for the past 10 years- then you may be able to add provision into your divorce agreement, which would require for these expenses to be split by both parties. Other things that you can add in provisionally include elective medical procedures, such as braces, and certain types of extra-curricular expenses.

If you would like more information about child support in Utah, please feel free to contact Jennings and Medura, LLC today. We’re always available to help you with any of your divorce and child support needs.

How to Get Your Ducks in a Row for Divorce Mediation

How to Get Your Ducks in a Row for

Divorce mediation is legally required in any contested divorce that takes place in the state of Utah. Decisions made in mediation sessions are less formal than courtroom decisions, and are intended to facilitate an agreement between divorcing spouses outside of a courtroom setting. Agreements reached in mediation sessions are often better for both parties because they’re the product of a collaborative effort.
Although mediation may sound uncomfortable or painful a midst the events of a divorce, many couples who reach an agreement in mediation find that it is easier to maintain a cooperative relationship with their ex-spouse after the divorce. For couples who have children, this type of cooperation is crucial. Proper preparation is important to the mediation process. Participants who come adequately prepared may find it easier to reach an agreement, and in less time. Follow these steps to prepare for mediation.

Agree with your spouse to mediate.

Although mediation is a legal requirement if your divorce is contested, couples who agree to mediate for their own benefit are more likely to cooperate and reach a fair resolution. This means coming to mediation sessions with a clear head and level emotions, openly showing desire to reach an agreement through mutual trust. Be ready to participate in an active and productive discussion.

Many couples will find this step difficult, but it’s important to remember that reaching an agreement through mediation is often better than resolving problems in court. Participating in mediation is less expensive than going to court. In addition, decisions made inside the courtroom are more formal, less flexible and less tailored to the needs of the individuals involved.

Find an attorney who will represent you.

Divorce is a complicated legal matter that many couples are unable to properly navigate on their own. By providing guidance and perspective, attorneys help their clients understand the long-term consequences of their actions. This is particularly true in contested divorce cases, because many people are unaware of the ways in which they are protected under the legal system. Find an attorney before your mediation session so you can come prepared with realistic expectations and a deeper understanding of your rights.
Gather all necessary documents and information.
In addition to legal and emotional preparation, involved parties must gather their paperwork before mediation. Anyone undergoing a divorce must be prepared to make disclosures of their assets.

During mediation, divorcing spouses will discuss financial matters such as child support, alimony, property division and more. To make the most of the time spent in mediation, both parties must prepare to make a case for their financial needs. Some of the important documents to gather before mediation include:
• Financial statements
• Tax returns
• Payroll stubs
• Expenses list with supporting documentation
• Wills and trusts
• Stock options
• Investment account statements
• Life insurance policies

There are many more documents that can (and should) be brought to mediation. For a complete list, speak with your attorney.
Make a parenting proposal.

If children are involved, you’ll need to think through all possible child custody plans before your mediation sessions. Have the details and logistics of each acceptable plan written down so you can refer back to your proposals during the meetings. You will need to take your housing and work situation into consideration as you formulate these proposals, and always keep in mind the best interests of your child. Work with your attorney to formulate these proposals, to ensure that your plans are realistic and viable.

Like other decisions and agreements reached in mediation, keep in mind that the parenting plan will need to be agreed upon by both parents. Writing a plan does not guarantee acceptance from the other parent. Some compromise will likely be involved. Understanding this will help you reach an acceptable plan during mediation.
Proper preparation is important to the mediation process. When participants have adequately prepared for their mediation session, they may find reaching an agreement to be faster and easier. For more information about divorce mediation, contact the experienced divorce mediation attorneys at Jennings and Medura Law Firm.