All posts by Cassie Medura

Avoiding Psychological Divorce Traps

February 17, 2015DivorceCassie Medura

Divorce is one of the most stressful periods an individual can go through. It is a literal tearing apart of your family structure. The comforts of home, the solace of family, the communal regard for loved ones within your household—this is all called into question during the course of a divorce, and it can wreak havoc on one’s mental health and feelings of stability.

The process of undergoing a divorce is indeed stressful, and this high level of stress will often push people to enter a state of self-preservation. This is a state of being in which survival is of the utmost importance, and anyone or anything that is not necessary to survival takes a backseat to the people, belongings and habits that will pull you through. Many people fall into this state of being without realization, and it can further tax relationships that aren’t already damaged by the divorce process. Going into a state of self-preservation yourself, or working through the divorce process with an ex who is in this state will be additionally difficult, as it means you are functioning at a more primitive and less healthy manner.

Ultimately, the decision to end a marriage is one of the most difficult you’ll likely make in your lifetime. It can be traumatic, chaotic and conflicting, and if children are involved these feelings are amplified. Being married once means that you and your ex understand one another’s nuances and ways of thinking, and this can mean more hurtful and hostile interactions in many contexts. Feelings of anger, resentment, impatience and guilt are just as common and overwhelming as feelings of isolation, doubt, betrayal and shock. Divorces are commonly slow and the process of meeting and completing the required paperwork may be agonizing. All of this is reason why it is absolutely paramount that every party involved in the divorce process is supported by professionals who understand the ins and outs of the procedures, as well as counselors who can offer additional mental support so to help you keep other areas of your life from becoming interrupted by the looming stress of divorce.

Over-Generalizations about Your Ex or Your Marriage

A hasty generalization is one of the most common logical fallacies—something that you learn about in school. We learn information and we draw conclusions based off that single fact. The conclusion could be irrelevant, fueled by anger and hurt feelings. Unfortunately, it is something that happens all too often in the course of a divorce, something that isn’t helpful in maintaining a positive relationship with the other party.

Statements that include the words “always” or “never” are generally not true. Yet, during a divorce, many ex-spouses will throw these words at one another. “You always lie” or “you’ve never loved me” are hurtful, and in most cases entirely untrue. Using phrasing like this can mentally scar the other party and make the current situation worse. For this reason, it is a good idea to avoid terminology like all, always, only, totally and never, and instead use phrasing like sometimes, it seems, often, rarely or to an extent.

The Label Maker

Life is a lot easier when everyone fits into a certain niche. This is why we migrate so often towards others who are like minded. We identify someone as being a certain way and quickly push them farther into that corner, helping to easily identify their way of being. However, these labels that we ascribe to others are most often inaccurate. And when we have negative feelings towards another person, we are quick to hastily give someone a label that they do not rightly deserve.

If you are not careful, labeling can quickly become name calling and stereotyping, and this can lead to more distrust and hurt emotions between the divorce parties. Hurtful names and labels coming from a person you once trusted and loved can be psychologically scaring, especially when those labels are undeserved.

It isn’t just the other party who might be hurt by the words coming out of your mouth. Negative self-talk is a common concern during divorce. Saying things like “I’m a loser,” or “I’m not lovable” or thinking self-pervasive thoughts like “it is no wonder she/he left me,” will only damage your own self-esteem and bring your emotional level further into the depths of distress.

When you put a label on someone like this, you are focusing on one negative quality and letting it completely engulf the whole individual. This will keep you angry at the other person and entirely disgusted with yourself. Give up the practice and try using more genuine phrasing.

Playing the Marriage Blame Game

There is a lot that goes into a divorce. Usually this includes a lot of lies, a lot of arguments and a handful of misunderstandings. Rarely is the fault of a divorce entirely on one party. Putting that level of blame on another individual is not helpful, and will usually result in further arguments. Be careful not to assign blame to one person in particular. Acknowledge that what is happening is happening, regardless of the fault. This is especially important when children are involved, as who is at fault for the divorce will be something that sticks in their minds.

Fear, Loss and Other Negatives at the Forefront of Your Mind

Divorce is rarely planned and often not necessarily looked forward to. Yet, most people who are undergoing a divorce can acknowledge that their current marriage situation wasn’t ideal, and that they do plan to be happier after the divorce is finalized. So why spend so much energy getting heated up about the fear and loss that accompanies divorce? Seeing only the negative just reinforces the anxiety and depression you are already experiencing. Focus on what good may come. This sort of positive mindset will be helpful to you in keeping your spirits up.

Catastrophizing

There is an old proverb that says everything that can go wrong, will. When you are already feeling negative or worried it is easy to get caught up in this line of thinking and catastrophize the worst possible scenario. However, the worst thing that can happen is not usually what does happen, so there is no reason to spend so much mental energy stressing over it. Focus instead on what is likely to happen, or better yet, stop thinking about the future and focus on the present.

Divorce brings up a lot of unknowns, and this can bring on some additional stress. Do your very best not to dwell in that negative space. Asking yourself questions like “how will I ever pay my bills?” or saying things like “nothing will ever be the same” aren’t going to help you reach your next step in life. Focus on the here and now and what you can do to make your situation better.

Playing the Victim

This goes hand in hand with catastrophizing. When you are constantly thinking about the worst thing that can possibly happen to you, it is not a far jump to begin that the worst is already happening to you. You are not a victim in your own life. You are the star of the show. The whole scene revolves around you. So, it is up to you to take on that roll and live up to it.

Bad things happen, and divorce is not an easy thing to go through—no one will tell you that it is. Even if it isn’t what you wanted, you can make the best of the situation by standing strong on your own two feet and finding ways to thrive in the change that is surrounding you. Instead of concentrating on the things that go wrong, focus on what works. Find solutions; don’t just focus on the problems. Essentially you have two options in every situation: you can play the victim and blame everyone else for the rest of your life, or go out and grab the life you want.

Suggestions to Thrive During and After a Divorce

There are things that you can do during the course of your divorce to stay strong and maintain as good a relationship as possible with your ex. The very first thing on this list is to step up and take responsibility for your own life. This will be challenging to do on your own, especially if your ex was greatly involved in your decisions regarding things like your career and finances. However, understanding that you are capable of functioning without him or her is paramount. You have to trust yourself as being able to succeed. Once you’ve taken the stride to be responsible for yourself, it is time to forgive. No one is perfect. What mistakes did your ex make, and how are those mistakes any less forgivable than the ones you’ve made at some point? You don’t need to work out the particulars, but parting on amicable terms by acquiring mutual forgiveness will be helpful in maintaining your psychological strength during the divorce process.

Finally, take steps to do something that will make you happy. Don’t put yourself down if you don’t succeed overnight. If you need any additional support or would like someone to talk to as you process the divorce, see a counselor.

Utah Divorce Attorney Can Help

Here at Jennings & Medura, we understand the emotional side of divorce as well as the legal side. Our philosophy is to assist our clients in resolving conflict in a way that most efficiently meets their needs and goals, being mindful of the significant financial and emotional toll that these issues can take. Throughout decades of practicing family law in Salt Lake City, Utah and surrounding areas, we have built our reputation of success. For help with your Utah divorce, start with a no-obligation consultation to see what we can do for you. Get started by contacting us today!

What You Need to Know About Divorce and Filing Taxes

January 15, 2015DivorceCassie Medura

While taxes are probably the last thing on your mind during a divorce, failing to plan for them can cost you thousands of dollars. If you’re in Utah, take a few minutes to review the following overview of how your taxes are affected by divorce, and then call us to learn more about how the divorce laws apply to your specific situation.

What Is My Filing Status During a Divorce?

Even if you are separated, you must still file as married if your divorce hasn’t been legally finalized by the end of the tax year. The only exception is if you were physically living apart before July 1st and had a dependent living with you. In that case, you can file as head of household. In all other circumstances, it is your choice as to whether you file as married filing separately or jointly. Just like when you were married, it’s a good idea to have your accountant review the numbers to see which option would minimize your taxes or maximize your tax refund. If you wish to file jointly, you must get your spouse to agree to it, and while you can’t force them to file jointly, you can negotiate for other consideration if they feel that filing separately is in their best interests. Note that you should never file jointly if you have concerns regarding your spouse’s ethics when it comes to taxes because you will be jointly responsible for their misrepresentations or underpayments.

Can I Take a Tax Deduction On Alimony Payments?

When payments are made to directly to a spouse, for example, spousal support or alimony, the spouse receiving the alimony must report the payments as taxable income. Because they are paying taxes on the money, the spouse making the payments can deduct them in full on their own taxes.

The spouses can negotiate that spousal support payments are non-taxable so that the receiving spouse does not pay taxes and the paying spouse does not receive a deduction. This can be done either as a goodwill gesture or in return for other financial considerations. This arrangement may be a wise financial decision when

the payer cannot use the deduction — for example, when the payer’s income is too low to take it or if the income comes from non-taxable sources
the payer has sufficient deductions already
the recipient is in a higher tax bracket than the payer
the recipient sells property to the payer after the divorce and does not want the proceeds to be considered income.

Is Child Support Tax Deductible?

Child support is paid on behalf of the child and not to the spouse receiving it, so it is not considered part of their income. Therefore, the receiving spouse is not taxed on it, and the paying spouse is still responsible for the taxes. That is, the paying spouse pays their regular income taxes and pays child support with post-tax dollars.

Attempting to report child support payments as taxable alimony to receive a tax deduction is a serious offense that could lead to back taxes, fines, interest, and possible prosecution.

Who Gets to Claim the Kids On Their Taxes?

The default rule is that the custodial parent claims the dependency exemption for each child. These exemptions are automatically tracked by computer, and the IRS will reject the tax returns of both parents and impose penalties on the parent who should not have taken the exemption. In case of joint custody arrangements, the IRS income tax rules say that the parent having custody for the greater portion of the calendar year receives the deduction.

The Utah court is free to order that the non-custodial parent be allowed to claim the child for tax purposes either on agreement of the parents or in the interests of justice. Often, the judge will allow the non-custodial parent to claim the child for tax purposes only if that parent is current on his or her child support payments. If the court decides to allow the non-custodial parent to receive the exemption, it will order the custodial parent to sign IRS Form 8332, Release of Claim to Exemption for Child of Divorced or Separated Parents and provide it to the noncustodial parent who attaches it to his or her return.

Can You Deduct Utah Divorce Attorney Fees On Your Taxes in Utah?

Attorney fees are generally not tax deductible in Utah. The only exception is when they are spent to produce taxable income. This could include taxable alimony payments, deferred-tax retirement accounts, royalties, residuals, or any other form of taxable income. To receive the deduction, you would need to itemize your deductions and be able to prove that the attorney helped you receive, increase, or collect such payments. The deduction is only available if the attorney fees exceeded two percent of your adjust gross income.

Please remember that the advice above is general information and may not apply to your specific information. To minimize your tax exposure and avoid costly mistakes, consult with an experienced Utah tax professional before your divorce is final.

Filing for Bankruptcy in Utah

December 16, 2014BankruptcyCassie Medura

It may be surprising that many people don’t understand what bankruptcy is, and that there are different kinds of bankruptcy. Generally speaking, people have been raised to fear bankruptcy and think of bankruptcy as bad, so they avoid the topic. The truth is, at times, bankruptcy can be the best way to save someone’s financial present and build for a solid financial future.

In simple terms, bankruptcy is the legal action when a person or business is unable to repay their debts so they go to the courts to make a plan to have those debts eliminated or restructured. When a person or business believes they cannot and will not be able to repay their debts as currently structured, they file a petition in which all of the debtor’s assets will be measured. Those remaining assets are then used to repay part of the debt that remains. When the process is complete, the debtor is relieved of many of the debt obligations they had prior to the Utah bankruptcy.

Differences Between Chapter 7 and Chapter 13 Bankruptcy

Chapter 7 Bankruptcy

is a liquidation that is intended to wipe out general and unstructured debts such as credit cards and medical bills. For a person to qualify for a Chapter 7, the debtor can have no disposable income. If the debtor has too much income, they may be required to file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy.

Chapter 13 Bankruptcy

is a reorganization of debt rather than a liquidation of debt. It is designed for debtors who have regular income and who can pay back either a portion or maybe all of their debt after the debt has been reorganized. A big benefit of Chapter 13 is the ability of catch up on missed mortgage payments and to strip unsecured junior liens from home mortgages.

Things to Remember in a Utah Chapter 7 and Chapter 13 Bankruptcy

In Utah, non-exempt property can be sold by the trustee. They can sell a home or a car to satisfy debt.
Chapter 7 bankruptcy is only a temporary defense against foreclosure.
When filing for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, co-signers on loans can be stuck with debt of the person filing for the bankruptcy.
In Chapter 13 bankruptcy, the payment plan settled on remains in place for the life of the agreement.
It takes three to five years to satisfy a Chapter 13 filing.
Stockbrokers and commodities brokers cannot file for Chapter 13 bankruptcy.
In a Chapter 13 filing in Utah, you can keep all of your property if you can afford the arranged payment.
If the Chapter 13 plan provides for all debts to be paid by the end of the plan, co-signers are immune from collection.

Documents Needed to File for Bankruptcy in Salt Lake City, Utah

In Utah, there is a test use to determine if a bankruptcy should be a Chapter 7 filing or a Chapter 13. This test is called the 2005 Bankruptcy Act Means Test, and the process of this test includes having the courts look at an individual’s average income for the previous six months. That average will then be compared to the median income for Utah. If your average is lower, then you can file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy if that is your choice. If your income exceeds the median income for Utah, there is more to the means test to determine if you qualify for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, or if you must file for Chapter 13. When you are prepared to file for bankruptcy and you go to the court, there will be financial documents that you will be required to show.

An itemized list of income sources
Major financial transactions for the last two years
Monthly living expenses
Debts, both secured and unsecured
Property including all assets and possessions, not just real estate
Tax returns for the past two years
Deeds to real estate
Car titles
Loan documents

What Happens After You File for Bankruptcy in Utah?

Filing for bankruptcy is a stressful process and there are many questions the debtor will have. Some of the most common include:

What will the proceedings be like? Will I be grilled in court about my debts? The court proceedings in Utah entail a meeting of the creditors in which the debtor, or bankruptcy trustee and any creditor who chooses to come will attend. In most circumstances the meeting is short with a few questions asked and answered. If there is a dispute over a debt, the trustee may need to appear before a judge at a hearing.
Many people wonder if they will ever be able to have a credit card again after filing for bankruptcy, and the answer is yes. Sometimes, if creditors agree, you can even keep the credit cards you currently have.
In Utah, public utilities cannot refuse to provide, or cut off service for people who have filed for bankruptcy. However they can require a deposit for future service.
Co-signers may be held liable for debts they signed for. It depends on the kind of bankruptcy a trustee has filed for, and if the repayment schedule involves repaying all debts rather than just a portion.
Bill collectors are supposed to stop calling debtors once they become aware of bankruptcy proceedings.
Student debts are generally not erased in bankruptcy filings, although there are some exceptions.

Summary of Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Filing Salt Lake City

A Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing can wipe out a person’s debts and give them a fresh start. Chapter 7 is a liquidation of the debtor’s assets that are not exempt, and this allows the person who owns the debt to take that payment and the debtor to move on from there. Some debts in Chapter 7 bankruptcy cannot be discharged, including alimony, child support, fraudulent debts, some taxes, student loans, and some charged items. A debtor who files for Chapter 7 bankruptcy must wait 8 years to file again.

Summary of Chapter 13 Bankruptcy Salt Lake City

The debtor proposes a plan to pay all or a portion of the debt they have over three to five years. A Chapter 13 bankruptcy protects a house from foreclosure, and allows the debtor to make up car payments and missed house payments. The debtor can also keep valuable non-exempt property. Chapter 13 bankruptcy is most often used by debtors who want to keep property such as a home or car and when they have more assets than the median for Utah.

Salt Lake City Bankruptcy Attorney

The experienced attorneys at Jennings & Medura, LLC can help you file for a Utah bankruptcy, and get those creditors to stop calling. Take advantage of our free bankruptcy consultation by calling (801) 883-8325, and get the relief that you and your family need.

5 Ways To Help Your Kids Enjoy the Holidays During Divorce

November 21, 2014Divorce, Family LawDealing with Divorce During the Holidays, divorce and christmas, divorce and thanksgiving, divorce and the holidays, divorce and the holidays children, divorce and the holidays kids, divorce holidays, holiday divorce tips, salt lake city divorce attorney, salt lake city divorce lawyer, survive holidays after divorce, utah child support, Ways To Help Your Kids Enjoy the HolidaysCassie Medura

Divorce is hard on everyone, especially kids during the holidays. In most custody arrangements, parents take turns spending the holidays with the kids, and being shuttled between Mom’s and Dad’s can be awkward. As a parent, you can help make the transition easier for your kids by embracing the present and looking toward the future. Here are five ways to turn the first holiday season after into a bright new beginning.

Focus on time with your kids rather than time apart

If you focus on the divorce, so will your kids. Instead, spend time bonding with your kids and reassuring them that it’s not the end of the world. Cross off trivial obligations from your holiday list and maximize family time. Don’t limit this bonding to just one or two days; doing simple things like setting up the holiday lights, shopping for a tree, or playing in the snow can help you and the kids focus on what really matters.

Talk to your kids

Keep the dialogue open during the holidays. Let your kids know how the holidays will be structured this year. Assure them that while some things will change, others will remain the same. Don’t dodge or glaze over the conversation.

Encourage the kids to share what they want most from the holidays and what they might be nervous about. Younger kids are a lot more intuitive than many parents might notice, and some may hide their feelings to protect yours. Sharing some of your feelings can help you understand one another and better accept the situation. Keep a positive tone and assure them that things will work out.

Avoid saying anything negative about the other parent. Don’t try to make yourself seem like the better parent or try to get your kids “on your side.” Encourage them to enjoy their time with Mom or Dad, and remind them that both parents love them just as always.

Stick to your holiday traditions as best as possible

Routines and traditions are very important to kids. While it can be difficult to keep holiday rituals intact during a divorce, talk to your ex and discuss how you can make it happen. Keep in mind that you don’t have to recreate the past down to every last detail. In fact, sometimes clinging to what used to be can make the transition even harder. Ask your kids which activities they’re most excited about and focus on those. Welcome any new ideas they might have, which brings us to our next tip.

Make new holiday traditions

If your custody arrangement is to alternate holidays, start a new tradition - a gingerbread house competition, seeing the holiday lights together, baking a holiday cake, etc. If your kids will be spending the day with the other parent, schedule your own celebration with the kids a day sooner or a week later, depending on your child visitation schedule If you have friends or relatives with kids around the same age, invite them over. Why not volunteer at a local soup kitchen or shelter? It can give your kids perspective and help them appreciate what they have. Above all, listen to your kids. It may be that all they want, is to spend time with you.

Take care of yourself

What affects one family member affects the others. That’s why it’s important to stay healthy and manage your stress and emotions. Luckily, you and your kids can help one another stay positive. Take up new hobbies you can share with the kids. Eat healthy, balanced meals and always make time for exercise. Play with the dog in the backyard, play hide and seek, or head to the park for some family tennis or basketball. Watch movies together, play board games, or read books together; anything that nourishes the mind or body.

If you work long shifts, take night classes, or have other obligations that limit your time, find ways to sneak in small bouts of exercise here and there. Take a 20 minute jog before sunrise. Do some bodyweight exercises while you watch the morning news. Climb the stairs in your office building. Stretch before you go to bed at night. Be sure to visit your doctor for regular checkups and ask about how you can take better care of yourself.

Contact a Salt Lake City Divorce Attorney

Remember, the holidays are about giving time and attention, not stuff. Our law firm understands that transitions can be difficult - especially the first time around. If you need help putting together a thoughtful parenting plan, contact Jennings and Medura, LLC, located in Salt Lake City, Utah. We have over 30 years’ experience placing kids’ needs first in cases involving divorce, alimony, child support, parent time, and financial issues. Feel free to email us for a free consultation, and remember to stay safe this holiday season.

Utah Taking Same Sex Marriage to the Supreme Court

September 17, 2014Family Law, Same Sex Marriagemarriage ban, marriage equality, porposition 8, salt lake city divorce attorney, salt lake city divorce lawyer, Salt lake city family law, same sex marriage, supreme court, utahCassie Medura

The topic of gay marriage has long been a divisive issue within the United States. Marriage was previously defined as a civil union between a man and a woman and, as a result, gay marriage was essentially outlawed in all 50 states for much of the country’s existence. Those who oppose the issue do so predominantly from a religious standpoint, citing Bible verses indicating that such a union should not be granted. Even as countries like Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Mexico and the United Kingdom gradually began recognizing same sex relationships and marriages in general, the United States still found itself far behind in the court of public opinion for many decades.

Gay Marriage California

In the last several years that topic has heated up significantly, with gay marriage becoming legal in a wide variety of different areas. California is perhaps the most notable situation in recent memory, where Proposition 8 was a state constitutional amendment that was created by those who opposed gay marriage. Proposition 8 was passed in November of 2008, it was eventually ruled unconstitutional by a federal court in 2010. Since that time, many other states have followed suit. They include but are not limited to Connecticut, Delaware, Washington, DC, Hawaii, Maryland and more.

Utah Same Sex Marriage

Utah is one of the remaining states where same sex marriage is not legal, though the story has a decidedly unique twist. Same sex marriage actually became legal in Utah for a brief period of time, starting on December 20, 2013 and ending almost immediately thereafter in January. The fact that gay marriage became legal at all during that time was something of a technicality – it was the direct result of a specific ruling attributed to the United States District Court for the District of Utah. The ruling itself was stayed until January 6 by the United States Supreme Court, which is where the small window of opportunity for same sex couples to join hands in marriage originally came from.

More specifically, three same sex couples filed a lawsuit in the District Court in March of 2013 with a desire to ultimately declare Utah’s ban on similar marriages unconstitutional. One of these couples had already been married in Iowa, but Utah refused to recognize that union. Judge Robert J. Shelby of the District Court agreed that the same sex marriage ban was unconstitutional, thus allowing these marriages to be legally performed almost immediately. The State Attorney General’s Office would quickly appeal that ruling, thus ending the ability for these marriages to be performed as soon as a few weeks later in January.

Utah Attorney General

One of the most interesting things about the case actually comes down to its location. Despite the high presence of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City was actually recently revealed as the “gayest” city in America in research conducted by Advocate.com. The Latter-day Saints have long maintained a view that homosexuality in general was against their religion. Despite this, those residents of the area who are not a part of the Mormon Church have long embraced their LGBT brothers and sisters within the community. Using a list of very specific criteria, Adovocate.com deducted that Salt Lake City has more gay, lesbian and bisexual residents per capita than any other city in the United States. Indeed, Salt Lake City and Utah in general is regularly at the top of “gay friendly” lists conducted about various places to live within the country.

In the first six days following the aforementioned ruling alone, county clerks in Utah issued more than 900 marriage licenses to same sex couples. Jim Debakis, chairman of Utah’s own Democratic Party, and himself a self-identified gay man, was among the first people to be married during this time. Those counties that did not immediately begin issuing marriage licenses to these couples would soon follow suit in the next few days.

Even though the window of opportunity for same sex couples to get married in Utah would quickly close, the news wasn’t necessarily as bad as it could have been. While it is true that Utah determined that it would not recognize all marriages performed during that time, that wasn’t necessarily the case everywhere. On January 9, for example, the Attorney General in Utah allowed county clerks to complete the processing of all marriage licenses that were in process prior to January 6. Even though the state announced that it would continue to ban same sex marriages, Eric Holder (the Attorney General of the United States) announced that on a federal level, the country would recognize all same sex marriages that had been performed in the state of Utah prior to the ban going back into effect. In that short amount of time, 1,360 marriages had been performed.

Current State of Same Sex Marriage in Utah

The Supreme Court of the United States indicated it will hear Kitchen v. Herbert, which was the case that initiated the legality of same sex marriage in Utah in the first place. It’s important to note, however, that a ruling by the Supreme Court in this matter is not a foregone conclusion. Kitchen v. Herbert is just one of five similar cases that the Supreme Court will examine before its sessions officially begin in the closing weeks of October 2014. During a private conference that will be held before that time it will decide which of the cases, if any, it is going to hear. There is still a distinct possibility that the Supreme Court will choose not to hear Kitchen v. Herbert at all. If the Supreme Court does decide to hear the case, however, it would represent a landmark decision that would have ramifications for every other state moving forward.

Along with the topic of same sex marriage, an equally complicated topic is same sex divorces. Divorces in general are always difficult and stressful situations for everyone involved that are made infinitely more complicated thanks to laws unique to specific states about whether these types of marriages are legally recognized in the first place.

Same Sex Marriage and Divorce

A same sex divorce would fall into one of two different categories: contested or uncontested. A contested divorce would be one where the two parties are unable to come to an agreement for whatever reason, including if one of the two individuals doesn’t want to get divorced in the first place. An uncontested divorce in a same sex marriage situation would be one where both parties agree to an amicable separation and agree to have all assets fairly distributed, among other factors.

Thanks to the fact that same sex couples still cannot legally marry in the state of Utah and in certain other states, child custody issues may arise in the event of a separation. This would also be true in the event that one of the couples who has a federally recognized same sex marriage divorced in the foreseeable future. One of the issues that may arise has to do with child custody, which would create what is known as a contested divorce. If a surrogate was used during the birth of the child, one of the parents would not be genetically related to the child or children in question.

In these types of situations, the court would proceed much the same way that it does in traditional uncontested divorces, albeit while keeping well within the confines of the state’s take on the topic of gay marriage. The court will consider a large number of different factors including the best interests of the child when determining who gets sole custody or any partial custody agreements that may take place.

Salt Lake City Family Law Attorney

Another point of difficulty in ending a same sex relationship would be a situation where a couple married in a state where gay marriage was legally recognized moved to a state that was still upholding a ban. If a person moves to a state where same sex marriage is not legally, they may not be able to get a divorce in that state due to the fact that their marriage was never legally recognized in the first place. They would either have to return to the state where the union was originally approved or work within the confines of the state in question for the most viable solution. In all of these situations, enlisting the help of a family law firm would certainly help expedite the process for the benefit of everyone involved. For help with your family law case in Utah, take advantage of a free case review from Jennings and Medura Law Firm today.

What Child Support Covers and What it Does NOT in the State of Utah

August 22, 2014Child Supportchild custody, salt lake city child custody, salt lake city divorce attorney, salt lake city mediation attorney, utah child support, what does child support coverCassie Medura

In the state of Utah, when a married couple with children decides to divorce, if the children are under the age of 18, a judge will set up a child support schedule. For parents who can decide on a child support arrangement themselves, then a judge will not interfere.

The Utah Child Support guidelines are always used to determine how much child support the children will receive, except in cases where parents have already made arrangements, or in cases where the guidelines don’t particularly apply.

It’s important to note that both parents can be ordered to pay child support. The primary expenses used to calculate child support are those related to:

Medical
Dental
Health insurance

In some cases, parents are ordered to share childcare expenses. Additionally,
‘extraordinary medical expenses’ must also be shared or paid by the parents; however, these expenses must be stated in the divorce agreement. Having an attorney on your side can ensure all of your bases are covered.

A Child Support Worksheet is used to calculate how much each parent will have to pay, and you can view that here. In many cases, the non-custodial parent is the only one ordered to pay child support, with the exact amount being determined according to both parents’ income as well as any retirement contributions.

Children With Disabilities

For children who have disabilities which hinder them from working or being able to take care of themselves, child support may be required even after the child turns 18. This doesn’t apply if the child chooses to get married. In fact, any child that chooses to get married either before or after the age of 18 will disqualify him or herself from receiving child support.

What Can Child Support be Used For?

It’s imperative to understand what child support is to be used for. As stated before, in the state of Utah, any support that is supposed to be applied toward cover medical, health insurance and dental expenses will be outlined in a child support agreement. Any funds left over can then be applied as the custodial parent chooses, such as paying for the children’s clothes, gas expenses to get them back and forth to school and so on.

It is important to note that parents share the cost of taking care of the children. For example, if Dad gets the children on the weekends, his support that he pays goes toward paying for a portion of the food that the kids eat while they are with their mom during the week, but on the weekends, Dad still has to cover the full cost of food. The same applies to Mom. Parents must pool their money together according to the Income Shares Model, and then child support is fairly determined.

What Child Support Does Not Cover

Some parents who pay child support get very confused as to what the funds do and do not cover. To put it simply, the parent receiving the support can spend the funds in any way that he or she sees fit. As long as the funds are being applied toward some type of living expense -school photos, transportation, academic tutoring- then a judge will have no problem with the money being spent on those things.

Parents paying child support sometimes get angry because they see that even though all of their children’s needs are getting met, the leftover child support is being spent by the recipient parent on a new car, clothes for him or herself, etc. Unfortunately, the leftover funds can be spent however the parent chooses as long as the child’s needs are met, including medical, health and dental care expenses.

The only way that a parent paying child support could receive sympathy from a judge and possibly have a court-ordered child support agreement changed is by proving that the parent receiving the support is not taking care of the child. For example, if the child doesn’t have decent clothes to wear back and forth to school but the parent receiving the support manages to supply a drug habit, then this would definitely be a reason to take the child support and custody case back in front of a judge.

Other than that, there is nothing that child support does not cover.

Is There a Way to Get Certain Expenses Included in Child Support?

Yes, there is. If your child has certain activities that he or she regularly takes part in and has for an extended period of time -summer camp for the past 10 years- then you may be able to add provision into your divorce agreement, which would require for these expenses to be split by both parties. Other things that you can add in provisionally include elective medical procedures, such as braces, and certain types of extra-curricular expenses.

If you would like more information about child support in Utah, please feel free to contact Jennings and Medura, LLC today. We’re always available to help you with any of your divorce and child support needs.

How to Get Your Ducks in a Row for Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is legally required in any contested divorce that takes place in the state of Utah. Decisions made in mediation sessions are less formal than courtroom decisions, and are intended to facilitate an agreement between divorcing spouses outside of a courtroom setting. Agreements reached in mediation sessions are often better for both parties because they’re the product of a collaborative effort.
Although mediation may sound uncomfortable or painful a midst the events of a divorce, many couples who reach an agreement in mediation find that it is easier to maintain a cooperative relationship with their ex-spouse after the divorce. For couples who have children, this type of cooperation is crucial. Proper preparation is important to the mediation process. Participants who come adequately prepared may find it easier to reach an agreement, and in less time. Follow these steps to prepare for mediation.

Agree with your spouse to mediate.

Although mediation is a legal requirement if your divorce is contested, couples who agree to mediate for their own benefit are more likely to cooperate and reach a fair resolution. This means coming to mediation sessions with a clear head and level emotions, openly showing desire to reach an agreement through mutual trust. Be ready to participate in an active and productive discussion.

Many couples will find this step difficult, but it’s important to remember that reaching an agreement through mediation is often better than resolving problems in court. Participating in mediation is less expensive than going to court. In addition, decisions made inside the courtroom are more formal, less flexible and less tailored to the needs of the individuals involved.

Find an attorney who will represent you.

Divorce is a complicated legal matter that many couples are unable to properly navigate on their own. By providing guidance and perspective, attorneys help their clients understand the long-term consequences of their actions. This is particularly true in contested divorce cases, because many people are unaware of the ways in which they are protected under the legal system. Find an attorney before your mediation session so you can come prepared with realistic expectations and a deeper understanding of your rights.
Gather all necessary documents and information.
In addition to legal and emotional preparation, involved parties must gather their paperwork before mediation. Anyone undergoing a divorce must be prepared to make disclosures of their assets.

During mediation, divorcing spouses will discuss financial matters such as child support, alimony, property division and more. To make the most of the time spent in mediation, both parties must prepare to make a case for their financial needs. Some of the important documents to gather before mediation include:
• Financial statements
• Tax returns
• Payroll stubs
• Expenses list with supporting documentation
• Wills and trusts
• Stock options
• Investment account statements
• Life insurance policies

There are many more documents that can (and should) be brought to mediation. For a complete list, speak with your attorney.
Make a parenting proposal.

If children are involved, you’ll need to think through all possible child custody plans before your mediation sessions. Have the details and logistics of each acceptable plan written down so you can refer back to your proposals during the meetings. You will need to take your housing and work situation into consideration as you formulate these proposals, and always keep in mind the best interests of your child. Work with your attorney to formulate these proposals, to ensure that your plans are realistic and viable.

Like other decisions and agreements reached in mediation, keep in mind that the parenting plan will need to be agreed upon by both parents. Writing a plan does not guarantee acceptance from the other parent. Some compromise will likely be involved. Understanding this will help you reach an acceptable plan during mediation.
Proper preparation is important to the mediation process. When participants have adequately prepared for their mediation session, they may find reaching an agreement to be faster and easier. For more information about divorce mediation, contact the experienced divorce mediation attorneys at Jennings and Medura Law Firm.

What do I do When Creditors Call?

June 23, 2011BankruptcyBankruptcy, Creditors, Financial HelpCassie Medura

1. Avoid getting panicked.

Collectors want a reaction from you. It’s in their personality for some reason. More importantly they want money from you. When you tell them no, they get mad. They want you to get mad in return so be calm at all times and be polite. Nothing infuriates debt collector more than person who is calm and polite while they are getting upset and aggressive. If you can’t pay, you can’t pay. it is that simple. There is nothing wrong in saying this. It won’t be what they want to hear, but that isn’t your problem. It’s simply the truth. The sooner you realize this fact, the sooner you can take steps to find a real solution.

2. Get information!

Find out who they are collecting for and what company they represent. Find out the address for where to send mail. If they won’t give this information to you, hang up, they aren’t a legitimate collection agency. A licensed and bonded collection agency will be happy to give your their contact address, and are also happy to know the name of your attorney and will contact that attorney rather than harass you.

3. Know your rights!

If you advise them not to contact you further, they have to respect that. This is why you get their address, so you can send a letter advising them to have no further contact with you. You should send it certified, return receipt requested. If they contact you after that, it is an FDCPA violation.

If you are our client - remember the Mantra! If you are one of our clients who has signed and paid a retainer, then you may state the following:

“My attorney’s name is Jarrod H. Jennings. His phone number is 801-883-8332. I do not wish to have any further contact with you. Have a nice day.”

After you have finished that, HANG UP! You hired us to handle your creditors, let us do our job! If they call you back again, repeat the mantra until you are blue in the face and let us know they are still calling.

Bankruptcy Myths

April 26, 2011BankruptcyBankruptcy, Financial HelpCassie Medura

There are many misconceptions about bankruptcy, here are some of the most common.

Myth #1. Everyone will know I have filed for bankruptcy:

Unless you’re a prominent person or a major corporation and the filing is picked up by the media, the chances are very good that the only people who will know about a filing are your creditors and the people who you tell. While it’s true that your bankruptcy is a matter of public record, the number of filings is so massive, that unless someone is specifically trying to track down information on you, there is almost no likelihood that anyone will even know you filed. However, telling someone that someone else filed bankruptcy is good gossip. Just like telling a someone you heard so-and-so is getting a divorce. So, if you don’t want everyone you know to know you filed bankruptcy you need to keep the information to yourself. As for newspapers our experience is that most papers don’t include information about who filed bankruptcy and even if they did, think about it who would be interested enough to read that stuff?

Myth #2. You will lose everything you have:

Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is most people who file bankruptcy don’t lose anything. First, while laws vary from State to State, every State has exemptions that protect certain kinds of property. Using Washington as an example: There are exemptions to protect such things as your house, your car, your truck, household goods and furnishings, IRAs, retirement plans, the cash value in life insurance, wages, and personal injury claims. There is even a “wildcard” exemption that can be applied wherever you want it. In those rare situations where you have more property than can be protected by available exemptions there is Chapter 13. In Chapter 13 you can even keep non exempt property through what is known as a ‘liquidation analysis.’

Second, as mentioned above, filing bankruptcy does not generally wipe out liens. Therefore, if you want to keep a car, truck, home or business equipment that serves as collateral for a loan you need to keep paying on the debt. If you make these payments and have exemptions to cover any value above what is owed, you can rest assured
you will be able to keep these items.

Myth #3. You will never be able to own anything again:

A surprising number of people believe this but this is completely false. In the future you can buy, own and possess whatever you can afford. In fact, most of our client’s are back to having good credit within a couple of years after the bankruptcy. How you handle your
credit repair after bankruptcy is up to you, but if you follow our program, chances are you will have good credit sooner rather than later.

Myth #4. You will never get credit again:

Quite the contrary. Filing bankruptcy gets rid of debt and getting rid of debt puts you in a position to handle more credit and this makes you look more attractive to would-be lenders. It won’t be long before you’re getting credit card offers again. At first the would-be lenders will want more money down and will want to charge you higher interest rates. However over time, if you are careful, and keep your job, and start saving money, and pay your bills, and do things that will put good marks on your credit report the quality of your credit will get better and better. Generally, in my experience, if a client has not
re-established good credit in 1 to 2 years it’s not because they filed bankruptcy. It generally means that something else has happened after the bankruptcy to hurt their credit.

Myth #5. Filing bankruptcy will hurt your credit for 10 years:

Not true. Two completely different concepts are getting confused with each other. The fact that bankruptcy is reported on your credit report for 10 years is not the same thing as adversely affecting your credit. Just because something is reported on your credit report does NOT necessarily mean it will have a negative effect on your credit standing.

Let’s get one thing out in the open. By the time you need to make an appointment to see a bankruptcy attorney your credit is already messed up or maxed out, or both. This being the case you have no credit for bankruptcy to hurt.

Furthermore, as I mentioned above, in my experience, if you have not re-established good credit in 1 to 2 years after you file bankruptcy most likely it has nothing to do with the fact that you filed bankruptcy and it certainly has absolutely nothing to do with the fact
that your credit history still shows an old bankruptcy.

Myth #6. If you are married, both you and your spouse have to file bankruptcy:

Not true. In many cases where both husband and wife have a lot of debt it makes sense and saves money for them to both file but it is never a requirement under the law. We have many cases where only one spouse has filed. The good news is that generally if it makes sense for both spouses to file together.

Myth #7. It’s really hard to file for bankruptcy.

NO. IT. IS. NOT! When you hire an experience attorney who can tell you what to do to prepare for your filing, it gets much easier. The decision to file may be a tough one, but once the decision is made, you need only do what the attorney tells you to do. It’s not difficult and is very straightforward. Having a coach and counselor on your side
to guide you through the process makes it a simple process.

Myth #8. Only deadbeats file for bankruptcy:

Not true. The people who file bankruptcy are good, honest, hard-working people, just like you and me, who file as a last resort after months or years struggling to pay the bills that left over from some life-changing experience. Such as a divorce, the loss of a job, a
failed business venture, a serious illness, or some family emergency. Or because they honestly and mistakenly fell into debt at a young age before they knew better, before they knew anything about budgeting or how to manage money.

If that isn’t enought to convince you, consider this, Donald Trump and his casino’s are presently in Chapter 11. United Airlines is in Chapter 11, US Air and MCI have been in Chapter 11. Do you think less of these companies because they filed for bankruptcy? I didn’t think so.

Wrap your head around this factoid. 72% of American’s qualify for bankruptcy relief. That was before our current economic crash. Imagine what that percentage is today? We all live one paycheck away from bankruptcy.

Myth #9. Filing bankruptcy means you are a bad person:

There’s a reason over 1,000,000 Americans file bankruptcy each year and it’s not because they’re bad people. Lots of good, honest, hard-working people fall on hard times. Let’s face it, life can be brutal and sometimes the money’s just not there. The bankruptcy law
were created to make sure you have a way to get free from the burden of debt so that you and your family can have a second chance at a “fresh start”.

Myth #10. Filing bankruptcy will hurt your credit:

Sorry, wrong again. Think about it. By the time you come to a bankruptcy attorney your credit is already either messed up or maxed out. And if it’s already messed up or maxed out how can bankruptcy hurt it?

The big surprise for my clients is when I tell them that filing bankruptcy can actually help them re-build their credit. Bankruptcy gets rid of debt and getting rid of debt puts you in a better position to handle new credit if only someone will give it to you. Therefore
bankruptcy is the first step in the process of re-building your credit.

The truth of the matter is that bankruptcy has very little to do with the algorythms that affect your credit score. In some cases, depending on the circumstances you are in, filing bankruptcy actually raises your credit score right away.

Salt Lake City Family Law Attorney Serving Utah